心痛

为什么？
为什么每次都这样？
你知不知道 我会很心痛？
为什么你要将对我。。。
我真的受不了 将的刺激
每次每次 听到将的消息
我的心痛如 心如刀割！！
那感觉 真的你拿着把刀
慢慢的 一刀一刀的割在我心里头
我的血也 一滴一滴的流出来
我的伤口 还未复原 你有为我加盐
我。。。 我。。。。
很辛苦。。很痛苦
----------
, , , , , , , ,
l o o. l
l l - : l
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尔。。。。尔。。。。
藏在心里哭。。。那感觉真的很苦
心 血在流 泪也排队的在流。。。
哭着 哭着。。。
我不停的问自己
为什么是我？ 为什么？

但是，事实摆在眼前。
我们尽力了。。。
请你 一次过！
不要 每次每次 将来伤害我们的心
我。。。 我。。。。 真的受不了。
真的 很痛 很痛！！！

不喜欢听慢歌

听慢歌 的心情

倒数圣诞？

每个人都在为圣诞节计划着
我呢？
往年，我老早就约好朋友
准备庆祝圣诞节
那等待圣诞节的到来
真的 很兴奋

可是，今年？
你答应我说好陪我
一起去新加坡过圣诞节的
可是到最后
却没有一回事
我每次抱着希望
也每次面对失望
反反复复的
我 有时候 真觉得自己傻。。。
一次又一次的失望
但是，还相信会有希望。

今年的圣诞节。。。
的心情真的 不开心
每当朋友约我的时候
却说， 你有男朋友，不用怕啦。。。
但是，其实我想说
到现在
他都没有告诉我，他有没有和我庆祝圣诞节

我是很想和你们出去庆祝的。

超快感

昨天对着电脑
对到凌晨五时才入睡
醒来后 像平时一样
懒在床上。。。 滚来滚去
摸着我的小肚腩。。
扭了两下
伸伸懒腰。。尔。。
超舒服呢！
过了一会儿
像平时
衣服不整 劈头散发 摸不着脑袋
走进厕锁 洗刷

我
背着相机
买过了早餐
开着妈妈的车
沿着目的的出发
每当我一个人驾驶时
那感觉来了 刺激也来了
加快了油门
当然 音乐也要配合下
要播大声些

哟！ 谁知道有位男生
随旁边跟来
扭起了那狂野的态度
和他交了手。。。
呼呼。。。感觉真爽！
输赢不重要，只要享受过程就好！

爽

心不在焉

今天心情不错。。
都打扮美美去逛街
带着个小东东
出到去 不知道为什么
心不在焉的 傻下傻下。。
还东张西望的
和你都谈不多话
想和你说些事情。。。

走着走着。。。。
有机会坐下的时候
我
抓着你的手，
看着你
说出了我的心声
我告诉了你
我心里开始有寂寞的感觉
有点空虚感。。。
你静静的看着我
你的眼神告诉我
你有不开心和内疚的感觉
你说你会尽量的陪我
可是，你每次来冲冲去也冲冲。。。
我也没埋怨过
因为，看见你我已知足了
比起以前，好几个月才见面一次
得却好很多
不晓得啦。。。
也许，人总是贪心的吧。。
很想可以对久一些。。。
每次临走前。。。
我都会搂尽你。。。的激吻你
给你留下痕迹
今天却简简单单的
轻吻你。。。你舍不得的眼神。。。
仿佛告诉我。。。
下次你会尽力的陪伴我，关心我。。。。
我希望我的直觉告诉我的是
真的。。。
不会再让我有孤单，寂寞的感觉。

冲动

今早睡醒。。

突然间

很想自己一个静静的

到海边吹下海风，

晒下太阳，

听下海浪声，

喝着椰享受大自然的奥妙。

不知道为什么有这样的感觉

好像出去看看外界的风景

不管什么时候

我都会很享受去海边。。。

海浪声的乐曲

无限的阳光

照射在沙滩上

那舒服的感觉足以催眠我 。。。

简直就是我的最爱

舒服的感觉

第一次，见到你那感觉很舒服，好像已经认识了。
第二次，有种熟悉的感觉。前两天，摄影前我们一块吃过早餐。
不晓得为什么， 有一刹那你定定的看着我。。。。
有种很舒服的感觉。那种感觉很难应用。
相处后，觉得你很搞笑。没有烦恼的笑声。。。
那感觉好舒服，好轻松。。。。
有你这个朋友真好。
谢谢你为我拍下的照片，还有你请的晚餐。

一份惊喜

今天的心情不是很好。
却约好了老公仔去逛街
一路上，我都气泡泡的
没有出声。一直到klcc
肚子恨饿，所以一到步
就快步去找吃的。
可是，foodcourt却人山人海
等不到座位，所以就到海南餐馆吃午餐
一着都没出声 直到吃完
心情还很差
都没和你说话。
然后我走到 首饰店
我松开你的手，自己在店里看
看到自己很喜欢的项链。。腰带。。
然后，旁边突然有个圣诞小熊出现。
还偷吻了我。。。
嘻嘻。。。原来你为了哄我
特的买来给我的。。。
店里那么多人，听着你说的话，看你把我当成小孩那样哄
真的忍不住 笑出来了。。。
我气也消了。
哄我 不买礼物 ，有你的吻 我也很满足。
不过，有这份意外的惊喜。心情真的好很多。
我爱你！

讨厌的感觉

当我接听妹妹的电话
听到所有的消息
我真的很讨厌
我很讨厌 这个人
毕竟 话时没说错
男人有钱 一定耍花样
出去找女人
还要一次又一次
的对我们说谎
这个女人 真不简单
还很有计划的 侵入我们的生活里面！！
妈妈有病在身
我暂时不理你
当妈妈恢复正常
能站起来走路的时候
也是我对你 拼命的时候！！！
臭女人！ 狐狸精！！！
我最恨的！！！！

see ur face

now, i see ur face
when i sit on my table, i observe u from behind
i saw u
talk nice to boss 1, and critic boss 2
talk nice to boss 2, and critic boss 1..
what a complicated
a dangerous place in office
other than ourselves
no one can be depend upon
when me, boss, and my colleague
my colleague real characteristic will shown
i still junior in company
who old staff and senior
will bully when wanna show off their ability
when the boss was there
......
as long as i done my job well is enough.
what i can say?
independence, work hard myself.
that all.

~Rotation of recent life~

mother is home now
stay with me n brother in kl house
since her body is very weak
she not able to walk
and her serious wound cause she cant to sit as well
everyday, i preparing the food and cook the soup for her
for her meal
wish to gain back her weight
2 week had gone...
mom is look more spirit and even gain some energy
she able to move her body
hang up her leg
and even change d pamper
during we're not at home

wish mom will recover sooner
then we can shop and hang around at this nice place &
travel etc...

Sunday feeling

had been worked for 2 weeks
busy for 2 week, work and take care of mother
now only, i feel free
to have today ,
write my blog, check my mail, and facebook etc
what i found that was
time pass me so fast
its might influenced by
working time in office
my position and responsible ...
as a debtor controller,
issued the cheque, bank in etc
daily transaction was a lot....
with my lcci cert and experience worked in audit firm
i get a good offer of salary payment
that y, even all is account clerk work
i keep going on
all the transaction in company
exactly same as what im done at father's company
so far, its quite easy job to me
im enjoy to work there....
my daily routine was certain time busy and certain time
free as well
even though i just work for 3 month to gain
that 3 month experience
but i try to work hard as well

fully used my time this fews day

im not to say hard but just felt not enough time to me...
i had long time no facing with my laptop...even check mail also run thru those important

busy working ~ learn follow up the job in company now
another side
accompany my mom in hospital after my working hour
following by housekeeping at home
when im finished, i was 1200am or around 2am at d most time

now i realised that
not easy be a eldest in family to take care all those thing ...
its might be hard
but i learn all the time...
i willing life in a busy life rather than a suffer life....

my time not enough to me now...
when my studying in college's in time.... its also feel free still bored and
sleep all the time...
now i realised that i waste a lot of my time before

within this 2 month,
even my dear called, also talk less and we just have a small chat...
well, i wish u understood my situation and tolerate me...
please give me sometime
allow me to arrange my timetable... i will be a bit feel free after this moment.
im totally fully use my time, and just now im home no longer than one hour.
im looking at the clock,
its already 1.24am only i can take down and rest as usual

i got no time to repeat all those thing to u, dear
what i wish, u read my blog to understand me
cos, when im homed, u had fall asleep ...
its never mind...

what my done today was...
after working , i rush to hospital...
chat a while with my mom
and them meet my aunts and we went to ampang temple...
we had a small chat and supper after back from ampang temple
when im homed, i was 1am morning

i try to call u, but i knew that u sleep.
so...
here is my message here, dear.

Birthday前的心情

21.9.2009 晴天 一

现在是十一点，二十八分。对着电脑的我，不知所措，唯有写一折部落格。在多半个小时，就是我的生日。不知道为什么，没有迎接的心情。也许，都和妈妈在医院吧！看着妈妈。。。不尽让我想象回二十二年前的今天。二十二年前的今天，我的诞生相信会带给爸爸妈妈辛苦，开心，兴奋，幸福和难忘的一天吧！第一次，当爸爸妈妈的心情肯定也被承认。我深信。。。二十二年前的今天，爸爸妈妈是很开心的抱着我笑。二十二年过了，今天的我的家又会是怎样呢？想起，我都不想提。二十二年的婚姻，如今已踏入仇家的情况。以前，我曾有盼望爸爸是富有的，而我是千金小姐不用做，要什么有什么。可是，现在实现了又怎样？提心吊胆，不开心，烦恼重重，破碎的家等等。这心情不停不停在我的生活里每天循环着。哎。。。。不管多重情义的男人，多个钱在口袋的人，是肯定忍受不了诱惑。它可以是，抽象的也可以是具体的。九十巴仙的人，有多余的钱都会想拥有更好的。有很多东西，在你有钱买回来时，可能真的能满足自己，善待自己。但是，有一样东西，当你用钱换来的，会是带给自己后悔，后悔和后悔！那就是，抛弃舟行！很多人都是可以供万难，不能享起富。二十年来，我深信我爸爸是不会那九十巴仙里头的一分子。但是，往往生活中没有完美的。必须以别的事物换来实现所要的。现在，我换到了。我换到了物质的享受，可是牺牲了快乐。以前，过节过日，我们都会聚在一起吃饭。中秋节，在阳台点灯赏月。。。新年，一起吃汤圆，讨红包。。。嘻嘻哈哈的笑声。。。逐渐消失在我的家，同时生气，烦恼，失望和忧伤逐渐加重了。我不知道我的家会变成怎样？真的不知道。可能，比起其他人我的走咒语好很多。至少我爸爸妈妈还在身边。这个念头，会给我自己好过些。除了，可以一天过一天之外，我唯一祈求的就是。。我可以开心的过每一天。

医院的生活

上个星期的昨天，妈妈因为身体严重缺养而进了医院。因为时间被耽误的问题，我们决定把妈妈送来Termeloh医院急救。

我也一连8天待在医院陪伴妈妈。睡不好，吃不好还休息不够。所以，导致待在这的第三天，可怜的我;发烧了.这里的冷气很冷,冷到我整天都披着冷衣. 还好吃过了药,也很快的好起来了.

每天,就是替妈妈换尿布,倒水,泡奶 最重要当然是陪着妈妈...

星期二那天,因为妈妈在说乱话, 谈着谈着...妈妈水汪汪的眼吾神..就像要翻白眼的...突然间,关上了眼睛...!!! ''妈妈...........不要走.....妈妈........妈妈...............!!!我抱着妈妈,很大声很大声的叫''妈妈.....回来!'' 还在妈妈的耳边唱着''世上只要妈妈好''.....唱完了....弟弟妹妹们还在叫''妈妈.....''真的叫了很久都没回应!那一刻,我真的很怕没有了妈妈.这时候, 脑袋一片空白!想着妈妈不在的话,我们的生活就会少了彩虹其中的一个颜色,少了一把声音,少了妈妈骂人的声音.妈妈骂人的声音有时真的很令人烦恼. 一旦,没有了这把声音,却一点也不自在. 现在,我真的情缘给骂好了!我, 真的怕到脚暖了...医生也很快地来到了.经过医生检查后,bp,pulse回复正常的状况了.'' 真的把我们吓坏了!!!真的满脸泪水...

今天,已经在医院陪了妈妈八天. 没有回家.在这里吃, 喝, 睡. 闷闷的我把电脑带来医院. 心想着,可以上下网,解闷.所以,就写了这一页部落格. 由于,网络账号有限,所以我也无法联络我的同学们,和朋友们.好想念你们.....

Risk, Invest, RetuRn @ relationship

its always the same principles in everything
its same like u wan ur money get return faster
u r require
to take risk
to invest
without capital, investment, risk certainty
u won get back ur return in advance
everything we invest
we're invest in many term
it could be....
$$ ~ money..
(''v'') ~ relationship..
12345 ~ time ..
@;@ ~ spirit..
-.- ~ work... etc etc
without invest, we will never gained anything

!=DowN=!

a crying sound from master room
i walk in toward u
i looking at ur face....
saw u r debility day by day
i really don't know what else i can do
i said that send u to hospital to cure u
u r threaten us u will try to suicide if we do so
what a 'i love u, mom' doesn't work from us..
u r pushing us down time by time
but we still beside u to accompany u

its suffer for me almost one year
i try my best to advise u
we all tried
but u never listen to us
i know only the situation make u scary off
then only u willing to do what should do
its useless to force able u to do something that u don't wan
!@#$%^&*&^%!$@#$%...................
God, help me outta the suffer
show me the way that can make me stronger
to facing all this
its hard but i willing to learn

2 days

few week had been no walk so much with u likes today.

the moment we're in
Book fair @KLCC..
Burger King..
Honey M00n..
T.Sq..
Lawyat...
its like a slow motion flash back in my mind now
its sweet enough ^;^
I'm happy to see ur smiling without suffer
I wish we can happy all d time

TalK

we have a talk today
long time no chat like this
i miss its chance so much
even though in a difference situation chat
u r looking at me
and tell me what is going on
i try to advise u as much as i can do
to wish u get to see doctor
i be patient to captivate u
to wish u listen to me
time left lesser day by day
i know this is not the good way for u
i don't wan to lost of u too
ur tear drop make me not to force u do
the thing u don wan
but
i really wish u get well sooner
i love u, mom.
can u listen to me?
PleasEEee......

House KeePinG

im in bentong now.
two day had been date my friend out
sushi dinner, fish spa, shopping, had dessert at SS2 etc
is time to home...
once i back home
many thing gonna me to do
im feel like a woman like my mom...
keep scolding my bro and sister
''such simply house keeping
also don't know to do?!!''
wake up early time
have my breakfast with father
buy all the necessary thing for house
and start my 'exercise' programme !
clean
living hall...
dinning hall...
kitchen...
toilet...
Huh! what a tired look today.
house keeping for whole day
how nice to lay on bed right now

@-- FiniSh ex@m --@

YipPy!!

done all the papers!
relax now, but worry later when realise result.

anyway,
enjoy come first than everything now
keep '0' in my mind

<< - - - Play ~ Eat ~ Sleep - - - >>

~UnRealise~

a message wrote in facebook from a friend's bro
suddenly feel that
things keep changing every day
got people sad
got people happy
those who is sad.... just cry whatever u wan, and then forget the sadness
those who is happy.... just enjoy ur happiest and keep it forever...
after at all,
we still have to back to our own life
facing the fact.......
people around us
they're just able encourage us
comment to us
or even give opinion to us
BUT
what ours life gonna be
only ourselves know
all control in our hand
the point is
APPREACIATE whatever thing we have now

"i wish u'll be STRONG! ''

♣ βǜςұ ♣

i know u r busy with ur work now
and even no time to sms me
or talk to me
i'll waiting ur call while doing my thing
all the time
b'cos ur voice is relaxing me

i know i shouldn't feat up with u sometime
but, i have my own thing suffer
u have ur suffer
i wish
both of us can talk nicely
and can tolerate each other
take off all the suffer thing in our chatting
i don't wan all those suffer make we suffer together
no way!
i just wan have a nice and relax in our chat
PlEaSE LEAVe it aside when just both of us....
just an half hour ( such good no need to think bout it )

without co-operate its doesn't work
u r MT manager in office
u have ur own team
u know this principle
i wish u can apply on us too
a tolerate,
a communication
a understanding etc...
argue is not the way to settle the problem.
u tough me this all the time.

E-mAiL

Im clicking nothing in my laptop
click.. click... click....
go into to mail box
look at the mail box
the mail that i saved
i clicking on the email
u...have been long time not email me
last time, when we're lost to connect each other
u will email me...
when lost the phone
no matter how late
u will be get the pc email me as well
i enjoy to waiting ur mail reply
the feeling of waiting is good
i wish to receive ur mail again....

Langkawi

again.....
we chance to trip
the day we spent
all belongs to each other
u be with me all the time
no matter wherever ur step
im keep follow u like ur shadow。。。
never leave any step
u r laughing me when saw my funny face( im scared by snake)
im watching u enjoy the trip ( climb seven well, bananaboat etc..)
and we in crazy mood to buy chocolates
...4 day
we
laugh together
play together
crazy together
funny together
sweet together
sleep together
what u do,i do so
those memory was locked into my memory
which could not be forgettable
as long as im life
thx & appreciated my dear

bluring Early in d' morning

im awake by a dream
i dream of him in the dream
i looking at my phone
it's 730am
i stand up from my bed
and walk toward my laptop
swift on it...
suddenly wan to chat with my friend,foo
who far away from me @ this moment
guess he is onlining
i clicking on the chat window
he is onlining
we have a small chat
don know y , feeling good is come back to me
and i went to brush my teeth, dress up myself
and ready to college at 9am class lateron