Personality plus

i just done the personality plus test.
what is the result i get is Melancholy.
same as i read from the book...
the result thati get ..
the higest of the rate is the chorelic
and the following is the sanguine
and the last one is the phlegmatic....
i having the solution part now...
what i hope so is... i can get my personality well
since break up with roy...
what is in my mind just so confusing
i dont kknow whether what is right n wrong
or i cant make those decision after this case
i got no ideal whether is influence from other or roy
what i get some time i was think it is correct... but he doesnt agree with me
is that 2 difference people thinking cause it?
what all people say that....when 2 people date together
also have to torelate then only can further go...
.....!@#%^&^*&(
at this moment.... should i do those test...?
i dont think so..
because sometime i will based on the situation with roy consider with the answer
and sometime i wan consider the answer when i was alone.
blur blur...hehehe...
i guess... i should do after this calm down moment is much more better
sincerely....
i was totally lost my control n my mind to thinking this recently...
i hope i can rest down my mind and finish up all my thing and going my working life....
to forget him as well...
3 month to go....
could be the time past me faster?
hopefully...

I found

ya... few day had think
i do i found myself
i was a person who like to collect the memories
i wish to collect all my memories...
in image or video etc
what i wish to do
i wish to help people collect their memories as well
so far...
last time i was interesting in drawing wedding dress
i wish to study in wedding fashion
but i know i couldn't get it in real life
after that... i bought a new slr camera
i wish to capture all my memories
in a nice picture
when im old later...
that my memories....
i can strong remember the memories of my life
every moment, every second
even the past, u ask from me
i always can remember well
now, 3 month to go final my degree
in real life,what u study, u might not get that job...
i wish to do what i wan...
by the way...'wedding' was my big concept
2 year ago..
i wish to after final study...
work for father
then ask help to open a wedding shop....
i know its harder to do it...
i wish i can be a wedding planner as well now....
dont know why...
when 'wedding' this word come out in my mind....
my heart is happy...
when attend people wedding...
i was very happy ..
yes i do i love wedding party
i love the seconds ...capture all the the nervous n happy moment...
yes.... after 2 years,
my heart still wish to do this...
i wish after im graduate... i can slowly move on it...
that my dream n interesting and can life with it all the time
can i do it...
my future will tell me...
^;^ ya.... wait for it. no body know unless my best friend, soo wei.
hehe... only she know it.

五年半的感情
唱一首的生日歌
听一首我想唱的歌
突然让你痛苦流泪
也许你辛苦了
也许你累了
也许你忙了
也许被避紧了
也许你想休息了
也许你把我忘了
也许讨厌我了
也许你不想再见我了
也许你不知所措了
所以选者停顿下来。。。。。。
很多很多的事。。。
很多很多的压力
很多很多的忧郁了
很多很多的负担
很多很多不够用的时间
想起的都会 是不开心的
我知道这段时间 你想静了
或许过一段时间
安顿了。。。休息够了
你想通了
你明白了 你清楚了
你说放开了。。。你会开心
你说放开了。。。你完全不会在意
你说放开了。。。你会另有相观
你没放得开。。所以你会跟着我的情绪走
听见我的声音 你会回想起最近不开心的事
看见我的样子 你会尴尬不敢看着我的眼神
真的放得开 你不会因为我 而失控 而生气
放得开，你不会记住我的坏 只会想起我给你美好的回忆
真正抛开所有的 介怀。。。
你才能 和我谈天
因为你在逃避
说好的放开。。。所以你内心只会记得我的不好 你才能忘记我
说好的放开。。。你不问起我才能 让我消失无影无踪
你矛盾而怀疑了
你矛盾而察觉了
对的可能是错的
错的可能是对的
我放开了。。。所以我忘记你的不好
我放开了。。。我不记得你做错什么
我只觉着自己不够好。。只想做好些。。。
当我放开你，你却抓紧我
当你放我走，我却抓紧你
我们错过了这个时间

放掉那个李添来 去找另一个的你
放掉那个卢雪莉 去看另一个的我

藏起来了

原来 我真的把自己藏起来了
原本感情丰富 的我
不知道何时 我把它藏起来了
最近。。。放松了自己后
才发觉到。。。原来原本的我。。。
藏起来了 。。。
他看不见了原本的我了
所以感情淡了
不知道为什么
心里总是觉得
他还有我。。。
我都感觉到。。。
只是 我们都把大家藏了起来
关在心里面
大家都不出声
因为 大家都不知道
下一步 该怎么走
如果有如果
我希望 可以重来
如果有如果
我希望 我们可以换个方式再爱
如果有如果
我希望忘掉以前的一切

A Lie proof a Lie happen

a wonderful lie
but u never realise i will know it
dont know why u trying to hide it to anyone
said that u went to jb but u r in malacca actually
no body know the reason unless urself...
1st, u lie.... said 'im in jb la... doing my stuff...etc..after busy all gonna back bentong for tournament preparation' (while u going to relax and holiday)
2nd, i call n ask u.. i ask why u lie ' u keep non stop reply ( who tell u ..), u sound like u got no wrong and u r in ur right way to doing it.
i already know the fact
but u still lie on me...
here is the test for u whether u honest to me or not..
what is the point here is u hide all this thing...
u know it...
yes... even i found out the right answer
in the phone u still not admit it and scold me back is my problem
and im not rational...
u making lie to everyone... who the problem one?
may b u tot im a irrational n sensitive person
so u have to do it...
u r wrong....
who is not open heart and who always say to me 'be urself'
and who doesn't do it?
what is in my mind is
u told me u tight with money after back from jb...
so i can help on it pay the bill....just i bliv u and never think u betray me..
never think other and just bliv u...
who is sensitive think of my part? and make lie?
as a friend, i beyond power to know it too.
what desmond let me know...u r in malaca...
im not checking with desmond...
just i found both of us also will sensitive with love stuff
and we share our thing...
i stupid until try to find other reason why u making lie to me
u might dont wan me get hurt or sensitive on it..
last time i still believe what u does is right n honest to me..
after this case... what u does is urself kill the trust from me..
like what im doing, and make u lost feeling n no confidence to get me back..
but.. also can say.. u hide it from me get u new start life with others.
before thing happen, tell sincerely... thing wont so complicate
after happen, whatever u explain people also will judge on it
whether it is right or not...
i hate people making lie on me
if there is nothing... privacy does important to u?
yes or no may b...
5 and half year i trust u honest to me...even after break i still
strongly believe u never lie on me or betray me...
the trust n believe its gone when
i gave u the chance tell me..
where did u went? jb or malacca.
There is the full stop there.
if u really know me well... i will gave u chance to explain every time ....
don't u found it.
is time to me wake up
from my mouth , i also say the bad on u.. blame on u... say not believe u...
but u never know how strong my heart believe on u...
cos is not important admit from mouth to u, like u say its feeling in heart..
when u ask me..... my heart always have the very first answer say 'yes, r u my mr right'
im might not good in express some time...
but what is the real answer.... u wont give me..even urself u dont know about it
but what i can say is... if u request... i will gave whatever u wan..
whatever u hope...
i dont wan let u know the answer, rather i hurt myself to protect u
scarified it.... if worth for u to exchange ur happy... i can do it.
i can scarified for u..
whether i show the evidence or not..
i know u r not believe me anymore... ( like u told )
this action might u felt not rational too...
but when u so deep love with some one...
thing before happen...before u propose
i do trust u and never worry about our love n relationship...
but ur action and without explain to me
cause me getting lost the trust on u...
in ur mind, u always keep thinking of this 'if u know me, no need i explain'
i know u r this type of person....
u cause me getting lost to trust on u
and also from me cause u confuse the love of us..
yes, i not good in expression..
i need to improve it.ya i have to do it.
i never say the truth to u from my heart...
how good u r...
sorry that i never let u know.
and u also not interesting to know now.
WHAT IS THE TRUTH IN MY HEART WHEN BE WITH U
i found it few month ago...
but i in work hard try to let u know..
learn to express to u
but...
no more chance now
what a regret that i wish to do is...
i never show a real me to u.never tell u all the truth
when with u, i keep confuse with u the feeling i have
tat my big regret.
but i should thank u... thank u propose to break
this decision make me know u r my mr right n i found it
but i had only keep in heart n not to express to u anymore.
Thanks~ even we not stay together all the time for few year
but u let me know how deep i trust on u after u propose to break
yeah.. i sense u like u do...

Gone

During the chatting, what is the story i found is he didnt honest to me.
during utm, he also doing this sms with his coursemate (siew theng) with sweet word just his coursemate reject him. what is the real story... does it happened, does roy really have any feel with her...wan to tackle her.. only himself know...even i ask now, whether he admit or not...is not the point now...i try to get the answer form his mouth.. but he refuse to give me a real answer.... i found from his friend... i doing this way... what for?
make my heart die and die and die for him and dont even keep any hope anymore.
me heart really gone...
6 years, i tot i read ur mind well... so much thing happened... i confusing do i still really read ur mind. might yes,and may b not.
Gone. whatever had just gone suddenly. is time to wake up and not to wait anymore.

A night of city view

i take a ride of city view jus now..there is many car keep moving on the road..
i slow down d car because some place attracting me keep my eye on it..
some car move fast, some move slow; some get d right direction and some get a wrong direction,some reach their direction on time but some are not.its doesnt mean u late, just u slow down and take a rest to continue ur journey.

3! 2! 1!

一个月的限期
是时候了。。。
也该够了。。。
想累了。。。
也累坏了。。
精神也差了。。
问题都尽量的消逝了。。。
也结束了。。
可不可以开始也不晓得了
这个时候 也没答案了。。
不是我不明白
而是你真的 不大会表白
你把意思都兜很大个圈来走。。。
当初说好的是
想考验下 我们的感情 做朋友
很好的朋友。。是朋友了。。还说‘不要真的避到我说分手’
接着，‘我自以为你要时间去习惯’。。
然后，却又说‘没感情’
最后的最后又说 什么最后的决定 ‘真的分开’
其实逃避的人 是你
因为你都不知道答案
所以你逃避。。。。回答我
有时想多的 不但是我 而还有你
脱我的人是你 不是我拖你
因为话说不清楚的是你

停了。停了。
明天，以后，都不晓得了。
虽然是可惜。。
不过你让我觉得 你是个不想和我共难的人
这多年 多辛苦的等，维护我们的爱情，坚持。。。
我都挨过来，给你信心，放心我对你专一。。。
你却可以在短时间内。。 付出得而得不到我给你的感觉而放弃。。
所，没有感情了。。这句话，就明显的说
你这段时间很努力付出，可是好像对方都不满意。。
自己努力过都没有了。。。就算吧。。
可是这件事。。。
我却做了很多年，把你带大。。
你说你扶着我走。。。
可是有很多时候 也是我扶着你走的
你扶着我走，你觉得我看不见，不察觉
我扶着你走的时候 其实你也看不见 也不察觉
爱情原本就是双方面 的扶持，保护，维持，生活，容纳和付出
可是你却把它分开来说。。。

信，不信？

我的心在痛
你真的没有骗我吗？
你真的没有对她人好吗？
为什么问到的时候
都不承认？
你要我信你
可是你却 不解释
不解释不代表 什么
可是 对方就会乱想
你让我 头大了。。。
让我更 想知道你在想什么

never think the past

he had take my position like i do last time ( more care )
and i had took his position like he does last time ( more fully use time for myself)
what he is does is caring me much more better than last time
what i does is less to caring him
for the previous year..
but for him...
just a short period he cant handle it
and decide to get the faster way totally settle it
for the past year...
i will spread it out and tell him the problem
but,
as a guy
always tot is not necessary to expressed and keep in heart
so...
when time pass day after after
and when the care for me never found have response
whatever he tried
he felt is better n more than anything
but never get any return
so ...
after a short period..
he found feeling had gone...
but what a guy think is...
settle the problem rather than suffer to think how to built up
and keep on the relationship...
so, finally will proposed to break
and give any excuse

but for a girl
will try to something which can gain back the feeling each others
and wish to hold each other hand until the end

actually...
both parties had forget the principle
becos its date too long
and both parties tot they know each other very well
and not necessary to talk n tell what is the feeling inside the heart
when keep on heart all the time
thing getting change
and might less some excited
to keep on the memory

therefore when the second
one of the parties say break...
its from many ways cause it
not only one side
if only a small case
sure can settle it nicely

when both parties just keep it and not to tell
and not to talk about the problem together
handle it
the ending will done all

when ending
both parties will get hurt
but either one will hurt more
what a people always does is
make sure u can make another one DIE his/her heart in one time
get ready all the reason n kill the crispy
so, from this way..
DIE for ONCE will more easy to stand up back
if let say used nicely to he/she...
bring the hope to DIE...
will more suffer to him/her
so, what this following step will do is
try to make herself/himself as a very useless n hated person to those who proposed
make sure can killed until the heart die
and totally end with the hope together
bcos the way he/she tot to treat him better is suffer he/she
tat also what people mean for
after proposed to break
cant be friend anymore
bcos... the memory will follow u...
once keep on it... its hard to forget it
unless both of them can be really open heart to accept all the sadness n hurt
but, in real world... not so many people can do it

16 天

去年的生日
我在医院过
虽然 在医院陪妈妈
但是 我永远都不会忘记
亲爱的 特地赶来找我
陪我一起过生日
虽然是很简单 的庆祝
但是我却很开心
因为 我都和心爱的人一起过
真的很开心
晚上。。。 听着老公仔说
‘gal,我真的很想你'
心里更是开心无比
因为你都很少 把话说出口
我们还在车里过了一个特别的晚上。。
虽然你赶回去做工
但是 你的眼神让我知道
你会在想我。。心会陪着我的。。
很期待的这一年
可以和你过一个最特别的旅行生日日记。。。
期待了很久 。。很久。。。

机会

原来爱情时间不简单的事
除了感觉，习惯还有责任。。或是还会牵连很多的事情
突然间。。。
失去以后我才知道
一直不珍惜的 不是你
是我 我付出的少少却要回报多多
日子久了 甚至忽略了你的感受
感情没有对和错
爱情本来就是要靠两个人来维持的
单方面的付出 就会是输家
后悔我们都没有好好 珍惜过有的机会
我们还能有下一次的机会吗
有人说 一生只爱一个就够了
也有人说 给个机会去爱别的
看开点 自己就会好过
但是 其实当你真的爱上了一个人
心里真的只能容纳对方一个罢了
不管怎样 你的心都只有对方罢了
所以才能长久。
错过了，我们还可以用另一个方式
重来吗？
我们还有机会吗？
机会难逢 重新来过会更好吧。。