Confusing

he say
need more time to spent on volleyball, just put me aside
then,
we're very good good friend
then,
back to basically start as a friend and see whether what we need actually
then,
im not ready to start

i getting confusing
what is friend
when work as a friend and try to care u
u say, friend no need ask so much thing. its seem like im reporting
but i work it as normal
u r overthinking of me.. u r sensitive of something

i worry once day
u r crazy with volleyball until lost urself
i not to see u hurt
i worries about u...
try to know more about u
but u reject what i do, ur felt is spy on u, make u 'fan gam'
i keep it in heart, no matter u scold me or said some word to hurt me
i just wish to get u back
read through all ur email...
one of the email u wrote...
''gal, eventhough i like volleybal, but i love u much more... like to shopping with u, like to sweet with u, like to stick with u.......i just like it, but i love u most''
but now, i looking at u
u can withdrawal our love to exchange with a volleyball
r u crazy with volleyball
do u know
ur mom had worry u for whole week
ur mom had worry until cant sleep well
ur mom had worry until awake early morning at 4am
ur mom had worry u until no appetite to eat
ur mom is waiting ur call
ur mom is waiting u home
even me also trying call ur mom see how she is..
worry she is not feeling well
but what are doing just for ur own thing, just care for volleyball
and just volleyball
ur mom ask u going home, but u went to campaign..
where is the roy i recognized last time
he is love his family
and care his family more than me
why suddenly change to another person
ur life only see the volleyball
we all trying to advise u not to do the associate
but , u r not rational and just work it up on ur own way
without consider the people around u
are worries u, scare u fall down
ur family.... and me
the one i loved for so long
i really not to see u get hurt
i dont wan u totally lost ur confidence once day
when u will wake up??
when u will be mature??
u scolding me not perform well now because of u
but u....
exactly doing the same thing
u r dreaming there and keep dreaming and not to wake up
how can i help u?
how i wake up u?
worthy to u scarified ur family and our relationship just for volleyball?
if u say yes.
nothing i can comment
since everyone is helping u now,
but u still standing strong at ur position and keep moving to a non u-turn way
what i can say...
i let u go....
once u fall down
and u will found what the feeling of fallen down
its hard to built up ur confidence and urself once u lost it
i tried it before
i dont wan u be like me
that y i wish to protect u now, to push down ur dreaming
i know i failed
so....
from time being
u will know why im doing so,why ur family doing so
why we all not support u to do.
is not u dont have the ability to do u
is not because u stupid
just in the real world and fact
its impossible to do it with only ur ability.
i wish u can be back one day.
i will be with u when u needs me.
because ...
I LOVE U,DEAR ROY.